Tough Times Are Here
It’s been almost three weeks since the shelter-at-home order was put into place here in the Bay Area and just under two weeks since I was told I was furloughed. And, while technically this means I still have a job, I’ve also been told there’s nearly no chance of a job waiting for me after this is all over.
And now we’ve gotten word that the shelter-at-home will most likely last for another month, if not more and my mental state is…less than optimal.
Too Much At Once
While this blog isn’t meant to be a place for me to complain or get into too much of the mental journey as we are going through such crazy times, I wanted to write a bit about how this first few weeks have really hit me hard, and how I’ve managed to start pulling myself out of a rutt.
After writing the last post, the negativity and bad news kept piling on. From my brother-in-law (and one of my best friends) losing his job to my current living conditions, it’s been hard to maintain any semblance of sanity while stuck at home in a 400 sq. ft. studio. I let all of this cut me deeply and I fell into a depression like I’d never felt before. The truth is if it wasn’t for my online community and my wife, I’m not sure where I’d be. Probably in bed long into the afternoons and binge watching whatever shows I could find.
But, thankfully, that isn’t the case. I let the depression take hold for a few days, but when I sat down at this computer and turned on the monitor after a week, I saw my post from last week still sitting there, staring at me and begging me to read it over.
Moving Past Negativity
That’s when it hit me. While everything going on this week, month, and who knows maybe even the rest of this year is not ideal, it’s what we have to work with and the only way we can make a better future for ourselves is to actively pursue it. That post inspired me to look back at some of the websites and programs I’ve worked on in the past realized that what I said in that post was true, I have a passion for coding that I don’t think I ever truly realized.
So, I find myself back on the path I wrote about in my last post, but it’s not quite as unpaved, not quite as foggy. I am still not sure what will be in store for me over the next few months, but I’m more excited than ever.
Depression and anxiety are always going to be a part of hard times, but it’s what we do with those emotions that truly define who we are. Here’s to…whatever comes next!
Follow My Journey
I never knew there were so many different paths someone with my skills and interests could take within the development/programming space! But, I know this is where I am meant to be.
Prior to March 16th, 2020, I thought, for the first time in my adult life I may have found a place I could see myself being a part of for the long haul. However, it seems that fate has other plans…